Moving!

We are moving this month! Which has me excited and just a little bit nervous...The new house is bigger. I will finally have an office again and a big back yard for Jack to have a swing set- so all in all. It's a sweet deal. Just not quite sure how I am going to get all of our stuff packed up and moved to the new house. I barely have time to go to the bathroom these days!

MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!

Ok I am done with this teething stuff. I quit! He doesn't need teeth- let's just have him gum it for the rest of his life. It has to be better than this...the poor child can't eat, can't sleep, can't even play because both of his hands are shoved in his mouth. I swear he has gagged about 15 times today! I have used teething tablets, tylenol, orajel.

He is still miserable.

Come on now- they are all going to fall out in like 5 years so why even bother? I am boycotting the entire experience.

Tooth fairy- go away- come again another day!

My Little Computer Geek-In-Training!

It was only a matter of time until I let him play with my laptop. We all saw it coming right?

I spend 20 hours a day glued to the laptop, and most of it Jackson is right by my side. Well today- I found a program (thanks to my ivillage playgroup) that will let him type away without hurting anything. It's called
BabySplat

With every keystroke (and fist bang) it makes a cool noise and a bright colored shape pops up on the screen. It was so fun, I had to play with it for a little while before letting him in on the fun. It makes cow mooing noises, laughing sounds, burps, bonks and just about anything else you can imagine. Very cool!

So yes- Jackson has now officially gotten his grubby hands on the keyboard. In a few years, he will be installing ram and reformatting hard drives- just wait and see. :)

I want one!

Trendy baby alert! How cool is this! Check them out at Honest Baby

So....now I just have to choose...

1. Ferberizing Stinks
2. Not sleeping through the night
3. I'm not a performing monkey!
4. 10th Percentile but still growing (ok he is a chunk so that one is out!)
5. I'll walk when I'm good and ready!
6. I survived nipple confusion
7. I heard Einstein was a late talker

Decisions...decisions....

Another Bad Habit....

Ok, I have gotten rid of the miracle blanket and sleep positioner so that should count for something right? We have even figured out that 30 minutes of reading Harry Potter will usually put him to sleep at night, without any tears or baby meltdowns. So we are sorta getting the hang of things.

My last hurdle is the swing. I must admit- if it was socially acceptable, I would throw this thing in the back of my husband's truck and take it everywhere "Beverly Hillybilly" style. There is nothing worse than having a baby meltdown in a public place and wishing that there was a swing nearby. It would solve all the worlds problems.

Well for some reason - Jack wakes up at exactly 3am every morning. He isn't hungry, nor is he fully rested. He just wakes up. And it's not 3:05 or 2:55. It is ALWAYS 3AM like clockwork. And instead of fight with him or break out the Harry Potter (I am a fan, but that is just nuts) I simply carry him into the living room and plop his little butt into the swing. And there he sleeps till 8 am. Happy and content...

But seeing as how his girth is increasing daily- this habit must come to an end at some point. And I dread that day- because I suck at putting the kid to sleep manually. Plain and simple. My mother jokes and calls the swing his "second mommy." Accurate- but not cool.

What am I supposed to do? Ok, well he is napping in the swing again (bad, mommy!) so I am off to nap on the couch...HELP ME!

I am about to bring out the baby nose sucker- thingy!

I feel like dog poop right now! I have a bad sinus infection and can barely function. Silly me got all excited about a work project on Monday and stayed up till about 2am- pounding away on my keyboard. And I have been suffering ever since. Of course, Jackson feels just fine and is wanting to play and laugh and giggle all day. I smile, but he looks at me like "mommy I know you are faking it"...Did I mention I think this kid is too smart for his own good already?

Last night, I drug myself into urgent care only to get the run around from the doctor. "Oh you really haven't been sick long enough to get antibiotics. If you still feel bad in a day or two, you can start antibiotics." Um Hello!!! I have a four and a half month old kid, I don't have time to take a shower and you want me to come back! I had to bribe my mother to come watch the kiddo long enough for me to come here in the first place. And you want me to suffer another two days- forget that!

I finally talked him into giving me a script for something- and now I am sitting here miserable waiting for it to kick in. In the meantime, I am seriously considering getting out Jackson's nose sucker thing and clearing out my sinuses. UGH! Let's hope that he takes after his dad in the immune system department- cause this stinks.

Vote for my cutie!

I entered Jackson in a photo contest- so please check it out and show some love. :)

http://www.photowow.com

Entrant # 38460

Thanks!

I did it again!

Ok- now for the record, I am usually a very sensible shopper. I don't impulse buy and I spend a lot of time researching my options before I buy. But, this little blue eyed bundle of joy just brings something out in me that I can't control. If I see someone else at a play group that has something cool and trendy- my credit card starts to burn a hole in my pocket!

Yes, I was suckered into buying another "trendy" baby item! My item of the week is the TAGGIE. (http://www.taggies.com) The premise is pretty simple, its a foot square fleece blanket with satin loops around the perimeter. It's a security blanket of sorts. (and for those of you wondering- no we didn't get the girly one with hearts. Jack's is manly with airplanes and cars...or some other stereotypical boy pattern)

When my husband opened up the package in the mail- he raised one eyebrow and gave me that look. The one that says "and how much did this piece of junk set me back?"

No...I didn't tell him that it was $19.95 with shipping, for fear of his merciless mocking and grief. But....it was well worth it! The kiddo won't let the darn thing out of his grubby clutches. He loves the little tags and chews on them constantly, and now I fear I may have to go buy a second one when this one gets gross and worn out.

So- I will go ahead and add this to my list of trendy baby items that I can't live without. Along with the Bumbo (www.bumbobabysitter.com) and the Peanut Shell (www.goo-ga.com)

And the best thing of all: Today at play group I got all kinds of oohs and ahhhs over my taggie. Yeah, I'm a trendsetter...."Don't you wish your baby was cool like mine..." (That was lame...)

Baby 2, Mommy 0

So I guess he wins! The morning that I woke up to see his legs dangling out of the crib, I packed up the SUV and headed for babies r us. I found the only breathable, mesh crib bumper. (yes I am paranoid!) $24.99 later, I thought for sure that I could rest a little easier that night.

It didn't take him long though to figure that thing out. This is what I came to find the next morning. Yes- he really is a NUT! Look at those eyes...they are the eyes of a crazy baby....


But at least he was on his back...so I guess that was a tiny victory there. Of course now, my dear hard headed son has found a sleep position that he loves. And no matter how many times mommy flips him over...here he stays.

What a sad existance...

So today was Jackson 4 month doctor's appt. My kiddo is growing like a weed and weighs 16lbs now! What a little chunker!!! He got 4 shots, and is currently feeling sorry for himself in the swing, clutching his blanket in one hand and sucking his thumb on his other.

But today, it isn't about Jackson. I wanted to comment on a kiddo that I saw at the doctor's office today. I would say that he was maybe 3 or 4 and was there with his mother and nanny. He was a cute little boy with blond hair and big blue eyes, and was quietly playing on an alligator seesaw all by himself. His nanny- was sitting on the floor near him diaper bag bag in tow, speaking to him in spanish. He would ever so often respond back to her in spanish, go over and give her a hug or get a cookie, and then continue to play. His mother was sitting across the aisle, arms crossed on her lap observing the entire scene from afar. The few times that the little boy would get up and go to her, she would quickly direct him to the nanny for further help.

The entire thing made me tear up a little- I had seen this kind of thing many times before, but now that I am a mom, it took on a whole new meaning for me. At first, I was angry. Mad at this mother who kept brushing her child to the side, ignoring his requests and demands for attention. I wondered what kind of woman could do that to her own flesh and blood?

Then it made me sad. I felt for the nanny, she no doubt cared for this little boy. Even though its a job, you get attached to the kiddos. I know that I did when I worked with kids over the years. You get excited when they get excited, you cry when they are sad or scared. But in most cases, you always know your place. When 5 o'clock rolls around the kiddos run into the arms of mommy or daddy and you know that they are where they should be. But what do you do, when that never happens? Has this woman been there from day 1? Was she paid to get up with him when he needed water in the middle of the night? Or did she leave on weekends and evenings to take care of her own family? Do you think she lays in bed at night worrying about the little boy as if he really was her own flesh and blood?

And even the mother made me sad, after I got over the anger. I felt sorry for her- that for whatever reason she felt that she wasn't worthy of having a relationship with her child. Was this how she was raised and felt that she should do the same with her son? Did she feel that because she could afford a nanny, that she had to have one? Did she work or did she stay at home? It was 10am on a Monday morning, and I didn't get a working girl kinda vibe from her- but I could be wrong. Did it secretly break her heart everytime that her little boy ran to nanny instead of mommy? Did the little boy ever call nanny "Mama" on accident?

Most of all, I felt for the little boy. He had a loving figure in his life, one that would kiss his boo boo's and make him cookies. It just wasn't his mommy. Now, some people grow up never knowing their birth parents and are perfectly fine. But what goes through his head, when mommy is right there in front of him but distance? He grew inside her for 9 months. A newborn child knows his mothers voice and smell immediatly upon birth- that is a pretty strong connection. Has he been trained to not care? Or does he secretly wish that his mommy would be there to kiss his boo boo's instead of nanny sometimes?

I know that I am blessed to be able to work from home and be there for Jackson. And that at the drop of a hat I could have to go back to working an 8-5 office job. Regardless, he will still know me as mommy. I will be the one getting up with him in the middle of the night to get him water when he is thirsty, rocking him at 3am when he has a fever, and I wwill be the one taking him to his doctor's appointments. That's what it means to be a parent. It was a long, hard journey to get to this point and I wouldn't trade it, give it away, or hire somebody to do it for me! Not ever!

We are screwed!

This is what I woke up to find this morning!

We are soooo screwed!

Welcome to the Roller Derby!

There are few things that I could count on since Jackson has come into our lives. One is that he is a great eater and we will probobly never have to worry about him getting enough food in his tummy, and two was his sleep habits. He has been a great sleeper and has been sleeping through the night for quite a while now. We did employ the help of the miracle blanket and a sleep positioner though- so I can't really take credit for any of it. If I were to look into my crystal ball however, I think we are now officially screwed!

I gave up the miracle blanket about a month ago against my better judgement- ok, Jeremy had to pry it out of my grubby clutches and hide it. Sure the baby was wayyyy to fat for it and his legs no longer fit in the little pouch at the end, but I loved the damn thing. Jackson would sleep so peacefully, and be in the exact same position when he woke up the morning. It truly was a miracle and worth every red cent that I paid for it.

So for the past month, we have gotten used to sleeping sans miracle blanket. He has stopped smacking himself in the head while he sleeps, and as long as he was laying on his side all was right with the world (which is where the sleep positioner came into play) But now that he can roll, things have started getting complicated. See, my silly little monkey doesn't like to sleep on his back, and hasn't really gotten the concept of tummy sleeping, but is perfectly content on his side. Which is fine with the help of a sleep positioner- but left to his own devices he will either fall forward or backward thus ensuring a long ass night for the both of us.

The first few nights- there would be about 5 minutes of grunting with little baby legs flying in the air as he tried to heave his chubby little tummy over the side roll of the sleep positioner. He considered it a personal challenge- he had to try it because it was there damnit! He would eventually give up and call it a day. So, I felt secure in the fact that we wouldn't have to worry about him rolling in bed for at least a bit longer.

Then this morning I go into his room, like I have done many times before and to my horror what do I find? The sleep positioner is thrown in the corner of the crib, my sweet son is laying on his tummy, with one arm hanging outside of the crib. HOLY CRAP! And he wasn't even crying- he was just kind of looking around. In my mind, if he would have been screaming bloody murder it would have been better. Then I would know he was in a bind and I could have come and saved him!

So now I may never sleep again! He is great at rolling over unto his tummy but apparently the 4-month old brain can only comprehend one direction at a time, and he can't seem to find his way back over. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! Obviously duct tape isn't a viable option...so I got nothing!

Mommy Beauty 101

Ok- so it's been four months (give or take) since my beautiful baby boy came into this world. And as anyone that has seen my myspace page can tell- my digital camera works just fine thank you! I have a million pictures of the kiddo (actually at last count it was about 586) and I am in what 3 of them?

Today- we actually took a whole handful of them after swimming and I had to stop myself from opening up photoshop to make myself look better. Ahh...the powers of the healing tool are great and powerful...

So I stop to think- why is it that I hate these photos so? I love the kiddo in them, and most of them I have a huge smile on my face, because I have honestly never been happier with my life and those around me then I am at this moment...

So what's my deal?

Well I'll break the ice by saying- yes I look fat. Big freakin' whoop! I have never been a skinny girl to begin with, and my journey to parenthood was riddled with a few oreos and milkshakes along the way. That I can deal with. Consider me bootylicious. :)

The kicker to me is- that I have really been slacking in the mommy beauty 101 department. Makeup- what the hell is that? I haven't plucked my eyebrows since the night before I was induced. (I wanted to look pretty when I met my baby boy after all...) My hair is in a "mommy knot" which varies from a ponytail, a bun, or just up in a twist with a clip. Whatever just get it out of my face, and don't make me actually find a blowdryer! That would actually make a good gameshow. Send 3 new mommies into the depths of their dirty bathrooms to find mascera and a blow dryer 1 month after delivery. First one to come out alive wins! Now I do manage to shave my legs- only because it itches. I used to do it when I wanted some lovin' but hubby will take what he can get these days. "Quick the baby is taking a 10 second nap- lets do it! But be quiet!"....

But back to the topic at hand...so my new goal is to brush up on my mommy beauty routine...

-I will at least put on some powder and lip gloss- no matter where I am going....

-I will wear my hair down when I walk out the door. That doesn't guarantee that it will stay down past the five minute mark, but it is the thought that counts.

- I will finally finish painting my toe nails. I have paint on the big toe, but everytime I try to go for another little piggy we have a baby emergency.

-I will change my shirt when I get spit up on- at least if it makes a spot bigger than a silver dollar...

-I will take the time to clean my glasses of baby fingerprints and baby spit at least once a day...

Did I forget anything?

Who's with me?

Strawberry Shortcake

For those that don't know me from back when, I have been dying my hair for as long as I can remember. I have done blonde, red, black, brown, and a mixture of all of the above at one time or another. There was a time in my life, when I wasn't afraid to turn my hair pink just for the heck of it. But alas...those days have come and gone. I went a whole 9 months (or 10 actually but who's counting) without dying my hair when I was pregnant with Jackson, and I found that harder to handle than the expanding waistline and stretch marks. And I wasn't out of the hospital for more than a week, when Ms. Clariol and I had a much-anticipated reunion.

I kept it simple though and did an all over dark brown. Being a new mom, I figured that my dye sessions would be few and far between for a while. But alas, not 4 months later and I once again found myself in the aisle at sally's eyeing a bottle of red hair dye. My friend Amber and I had the drive, ambition, and 20 bucks burning a hole in our pockets. :) We were even ambitious enough to bleach the hair first before applying the red. Yeah we have skills...

So now I rival Strawberry shortcake. (and for those of you that don't know who that is- why are you reading this anyway! We can't be friends...) It looks pretty cool- and we did a good job. (Thanks Amb!) But I, for the first time in my life think that I need to maybe tone things down a bit. Crap! I am getting old damnit! This is a strange feeling...

So, tomorrow I think I will be making another trip to Sally's this time with note in hand from my hubby. "Dear Sally, Please don't let her buy anything in the red or blonde family. No matter how much she cries and pleads and swears that she will love it...TELL HER NO!"

Strawberry Shortcake signing off!

My Lil Ham!

I swear Jackson gets cuter and cuter every single day! (yes...I know I may be biased here..) The past two days he has been so smiley and giggly. It is soooo cute. He will be in the middle of a bottle and then he gets this huge grin on his face- thus spilling milk out the sides of his mouth. LOL.

Plus he is teething and you know that he is in pain, but he will be chewing away on my fingers trying to relieve the pain and then he stops for a minute, looks at me and smiles a big ear to ear grin and then goes right back to chomping.

Such a cutie pie!

Go to sleep already! Random thoughts on life...

Parenthood has made me an insomniac. I think it started about two weeks after conception, when I had to get up every 30 seconds to pee. Throw in nights of worrying, wonder, and heck lets face it several nights of "jesus kid stop kicking my spleen already and go to sleep!" and I had pretty much given up on sleep long before I got the epidural.

Then this wiggly little pink alien is born and then I found myself in the hospital sleeping with one eye open the entire night, because I kept waking up just to make sure he was still there! And honestly, I still check on him several times a night. One to make sure he is ok...and one to just look at him sleeping...cause a sleeping baby is probobly the most beautiful sight in the world. Or maybe just to a sleep deprived momma. :)

This morning I found myself lying in bed at 5 am listening to the sound of him breathing and the rain machine in his nursery, when I began to hear a strange noise. At first I couldn't make it out, and thought that the rain machine was on the fritz. There would be a few clanging noises and then the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Then a few minutes would pass and I would hear it again. I was intrigued so I tiptoed out of bed and went to check on him in his room. My little guy has discovered his crib aquarium!! He has learned to kick the buttons with his feet to make the lights and sound start up. He would then lay there staring at the fishes and lights and when it stopped, he would simply kick it again to make it start up again. Brilliant!

Then I started to cry....cause that's what I do....but I just can't believe how fast he is growing! It seems like just yesterday we were staring at this little blob in the bassinett asking "what do we do with him now?" In the beginning all he did was eat and sleep. He would stare off in to space and fill up a lot of diapers.

Then I wake up one morning and he is this perfect little person. He is hard headed (which I say he gets from his daddy) and wants what he wants- when he wants it. Give him a pacifier and watch him get so ticked- you swear that it was kryptonite! He will look at you with those gorgeous blue eyes of his and flash a huge smile that pretty much melts me into a puddle of goo. He has learned to be a little flirt too- watching him giggle and smile at a little girl a few months older the other day at the park showed me that we are all in for a world of trouble when he gets older. He is going to be a charmer! (again...another daddy trait I suppose...) Oh and with those blue eyes and his daddy's dark hair- hide your daughters!!! He is already a pretty good judge of character too- he can already spot assholes and idiots from a mile away. And let's face it- I know a lot of 30 years olds that still don't have that skill down!

I don't know when it happened exactly- but we woke up one morning and suddenly he is giggling all the time and even doing full out belly laughs. I can no longer dance in my undies to a song on the radio without a 10 minute giggle fit from the kiddo. Yes...I still do that on a daily basis don't you? :)

How can you not be in awe of your very existance? No matter what you have accomplished in life up to this point- you have still come a pretty damn long way. You came into this world a little alien blob...and look at you now! LOL Maybe eating with a fork, doesn't excite you anymore but to Jackson that is a major life goal right now.

Have a great day!

Why Daddy Doesn't Do Diapers!

I decided to get ambitious today and clean out the changing table. I remember being 9 months pregnant, and staring at this empty table thinking what the heck did it have three shelves for? What did I have to put there besides a pack of diapers and wipes? Boy was I wrong!

In my cleaning spree I found a size one diaper...poor kid is already a chunker and has grown out of it. But it does fit perfectly on his head. :)

Teething Sucks!

Teething Sucks!

Nature is a cruel, cruel beast! Jackson is soooo miserable, and me by extension. The poor kid would shove both his hands in his mouth, and one of mine if he could. Plus the drooling, the fever, the overall "what the hell is going on here" vibe. Awful! I have tried it all to distract him from the pain, but he isn't buying it.

"Ohhh look Jackson something shiny..."
"Look woman- my head is about to crack open. How about you give me some drugs and shut the hell up!!!"

So gone are the days of sleeping through the night and having a cute and giggly baby. Say a prayer for me and send over some baby tylenol and orajel before I get myself commited.

All About Me!

Hi! Hola! Wazz Up!?! Welcome to my little corner of the world- I thought I would start off by telling you a little bit about my journey to parenthood.

....Go ahead- take a potty break, grab a cold beverage...this could take a while!

I married the love of my life (a tall, skinny, goofy oddball - that I love more than anything) and as it often happens in life...my thoughts turned to starting a family. After a bit of consideration, we decided to get off the pill and get to the hard work of making a baby. (wink, wink)

6 Months later- I had yet to have a period on my own. I could no longer blame the birth control, and started wondering if something was wrong. A year went by- and still no baby. So we called in the professionals. The diagnosis- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS. Basically, every month instead of ovulating my body created a cyst on my ovary. When we had a peek inside- I had over 50 cysts on each ovary. YOW! We were in trouble...

We first started off on a drug called metformin, which was supposed to help the underlying PCOS symptoms. A year of that, and I would have periods every 3 months or so. Still not prime baby making stuff.

So then, we got a bit more aggressive- Clomid was the next drug on the list. Now that drug was EVIL! It made me wacky, here I was 24 years old and having hot flashes like a menopausal woman. I was a complete bear to be around, which seemed somewhat counter productive. Who would want to make a baby with a crazy witch woman? Well 8 months of that...and still no bun in the oven.

Then we included HSG shots and IUI's. Basically once a month they would give me a shot in the butt that burned like hell, and then they would take hubby's sperm and manually place it in the right spot for conception. Yeah- the romance was officially gone!

It had now been almost 3 years- and we were still childless. When the doctor finally threw in the towel and told us it was invitro or nothing- it was actually strangly comforting. After days and days of discussions- we decided that we couldn't risk the 20K on invitro when there was only a chance that it would work. We instead decided to adopt.

Once the baby thing was no longer reliant on my lazy ovaries- I had a renewed sense of self! Within weeks we had the paperwork filled out and our appointment for our homestudy. We were going to adopt and couldn't have been happier. We even started having sex again...like the way we did before the doctors got all up in our business. :)

Since we were adopting, I saw no reason to have such wacky cycles anymore so I wanted to get on the pill again. Just so that I didn't really have to deal with it anymore. The doctor ordered a pregnancy test (gee..thanks doc way to waste my money) just to be sure. And what do you know.....

I WAS PREGNANT!!!!

So yes...we are one of those cases that finally got prego when we stopped trying!

9 months of morning sickness (yes I had it the entire pregnancy), gestational diabetes, and an emergency c-section...and here we are. My miracle baby is here! Now I just have to figure out what to do with him now.....